Winter's Eve

Lost along the spidery cracks
in the sidewalk,
Pacing along the icy boulevards,
Crunching half-frozen
Lakes, or puddles to the
grizzled journeyman
Stumbling down the sidestreets
in muddy boots, broken
by the still night air
like ancient clay pots
As the silver stars beam
down from the ink black
heavens,
and the cool moon smiles
down at the fate of the
long-limbed angels
The traveller takes heart -
somewhere a warm fire,
strong drought, and soft lips wait for his return
If only in the dreams of a
Winter's Eve
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Dec. 30th

I am not interested in reflecting over this last year. I am only interested in focusing on the new year. I sincerely believe that there will be good things happening for me, and for all of my friends - good karma will abound! If you don't truly believe in what is possible, then it will never happen. I will go overseas, I will be published, and I will be a better person than I was in the last year.  Setting goals will be a challenge, because I have always procrastinated - this will be a character flaw that I will work on and overcome.  Thats it for now....

In the end

In the end,
it is only me
resting in the
laurels of my own
making

In the end,
here, sitting on a toadstool
spending time, like money
on pursuits I cannot
afford

In the end,
I will be a lonely poet
but not sad
melting into the
minds of the many

In the end,
I will die alone
Peacefully
No deathbed over
the ocean mist
with no regrets
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Black Hole Son

Irrelevant and lost,
souls daintily floating about
like so many insects
just tiny ink blots on the
glass canvas

The minds of men,
interlaced with the blood
of the innocents!
Wanting control, where 
there is no method to the madness
Penetrating the supple figure
of the Old Mother
violently, unyielding, beyond repair

The minds of women,
sensuously splashed against the
golden tapestry of the morning sky,
even as the starlight fades,
the moon and the sun still reside
safely in the center of her heart

How is it, so beautiful?
The emerald and the sapphire
on the tip of the blade
gliding, like a bird of prey
as we pray
along such pale skin,
to a trinity of colors
now crimson

Such accursed thoughts,
drowned in the blue river
taken by the nape of the neck
dragged into our hearts
willingly, anew, eternally
yours

On the Razor's Edge

Wary faces, wrinkled and rough, like good leather
worried and restless no one to care for
Silently mourning, openly weeping, for the death
of her empty eyes
In wide-open spaces, there underneath the green grass, you can find the remnants
of my former addictions,
Contempt, my sweet love!
She was always with me, until I drove that jagged blade into her heart, the same day the sunshine crept into view
Hatred, my other drug of choice, cast aside, like a cigarette, shimmering in the summer night, dying slowly
but so surely,
Fear, my sultry mistress of the
Dark, never have fully escaped her black wings, nor will I ever,
But my love! O', my toothless whore!
You will forever remain a jilted woman, a shallow memory, like a dusty desert creek,
the seasons will measure your
Strength
Measured breaths, on a razors edge, on the tip of the tongue,
a certain lust for life...

spaces
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Liquid

Lovely dripping treasures
wrapped in silver pain,
subtleness of hot skin
pressed against flesh
friction makes sparkling
flames
Causing a firestorm of lips,
legs, bruises, and fame
at the end of the day,
we spent our minds
then dawn spent our souls
Eyes interlocked in heavenly
pursuits
bodies in tune with the ocean
Tides
a constant rhythm of teeth
and tongues
Uninterrupted
songs, flowing from her
Deep dark places
Fluidly gaping
sweetly facing
the curves of her body
Against the moonlight
Grasping, scratching along
the walls of her flesh
Wait, I must be dreaming!
That was the dream of the full moon
Lost in the haze
Of the solar winds
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Dec.23rd

I can't think of anything beautiful to write today. I guess some days are just like that. It feels a little cloudier inside the old mind, and it's just one of those challenges we all must overcome. I am thankful for all of the friends and family that I still have after all these years. I suppose I should just suck it up, and think positive, right? Yes, it's Christmas after all - and I do wish those that I know a merry Christmas and all that stuff - so I will press on, through all of the bullshit, doubts, and dark places that keep flooding into my being. It's all good, so they say - although I'd like to give "them" a swift beat-down from time-to-time. One of these fine days, it will all seem quite worth it - that's one thing I'm sure of. 2011 will be a great year, at least that's what I will keep telling myself until I truly believe it. Let's just say it will be!

Merry Christmas, ho ho ho... :-D

What we lost

Gone is the sweet echo of her
soft heart, unburdened by the
cracks in the sidewalk,
and cheap humanity, unchained to the anchors of this world,
taken away from my arms, at
the dawn of youth
her tender little smile, ever
curling slightly upwards,
humoring my bad jokes, and
sarcastic nature, unfit for general consumption
With a mind as clear as the skies over a wind-swept mountain peak, a will stronger than blue tempered steel, a graceful figure, dancing over the still water, smooth as glass, a refection of true beauty, of body and soul,
she overcame this meager existence
Taken away from my life, to care for lost souls, like a shepard, she calms the flock
and warms the heart
I will always remember her at her finest, but I can never forget the worst
Taken from my arms, away from me
This is what we lost
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Four Eyes Girl

How did you come into my life,
Sweet Four Eyes Girl?
Like a weary traveller to a far-flung land, along the slanted pathways, to the center of thought
Along the tips of words, and curves of letters,
There she is, standing over
the ruins of a broken soul
O' woman, queen of hearts,
Queen of eternal sunshine -
No muse!
Likewise almost shattered,
now a piece of my puzzle
not jagged, no torn fabric of the mind!
As the gentle clouds drift along, wispy tears of forlorn poets
I watch them in the reflection of your four eyes...
Rain drops, give way to moonbeams, give way to the mercurial sun
fly away to the ends of the earth,
My little four eyes
Go forth to protect your dreams
and I, no broken foundation!
Here to heed your call,
When the hourglsass needs...

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Dec. 19th

I think I'm having doing well during these depressing holidays...I've got dreams again, I've got goals, and I am going to travel somewhere...just not sure where yet...I'd love to go back to Scotland again...writing while sitting on King Arthur's hill, overlooking the city of Edinburgh would be epic. I know how to travel cheaply and still have fun. I know I need that, something just for me - sounds selfish, but I really don't care.

Through the Fire

Surrounded by wispy tendrils of black smoke,
whispering echoes of the bloody battle, distant crackle of musket balls, gently carressing the ears,
Through the fire she struck him - touching the aching heart, a great hole in the back, exposed now, felled by lightning in a bottle

Ah! the fortunes of wartime celebrations, the clatter of horses, prancing on the whims of the ancient gods, with sword and shield cracked, swaying lustfully to martial tunes unaware the love he missed was by his side

He mused upon this, waiting for the sweet embrace of Death, fists clenched against the blood-stained ground, each moment, another breath, life flowing from his wounds
Chest heaving, and the ground shaking
O', but the angel knelt beside him, touching his bruised face, with shining blue eyes, taking his soul into her soft hands
On another journey, a reunion of love in the heavens, as the clouds fade from vision one last time
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Dec 12th

It appears as if our ghost hunting session was a great success! We believe that a spirits do in fact exist on the premises, and that they are intelligent instead of residual haunts.

Two investigators, a guest, and myself completed a 3 hour investigation that included some unexplained thuds, shadow play, and most impressively K2 meter hits that directly responded to our questions. A K2 meter picks up fluctuations created by an Electromagnetic Field - these types of fluctuations are thought to be indicitive of paranormal activity.

We asked the entity to approach us and try to make the K2 meter go off...it did...so awesome...convincing evidence...more to come :)
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Dreaming in Stone

Remembering the place I first saw you
Like I've been dreaming in stone
Etched into fragile memory
tracing the lines of every curve
the pain in every laugh
a glow in the soul, to overcome
In her eyes,
the hopes and dreams of generations gone by
like a heaven from the
backseat window
My hands wracked with pain
passing by the graveyard
of indiscretions
reaching out for where I belong
somewhere in her eyes
waiting for the fire to burn out
but it is meant to be
just as the sun shall rise
A certainty,
as if I was dreaming in stone
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Below the Surface

Many years have gone by
since the ashen moon came to to me
cradled in Raven's feathers, dark brown eyes seething
like a newborn, unready
for enchantment, and I, willingly ardent
to dispatch the shadows from her world
Then in the night, a great storm raged
pounding the sides of our chosen vessel,
O' the masts did
splinter in two!
Yes, the lighting once struck me like rapture!
Briny ocean grasping me, as she did pull me under
I remember the ceiling of the night sky drifting away
her once gentle features turned to hollow gaze
The tempest was no more

Floating on the great blue, for many a breezy day
head coming to rest on a sunny shore
an island, safe from the jagged spiny rocks
and the wail of the maiden below
now ahead of me in the flame sun
deep blue eyes, and a smile that could melt ice
reflecting an end to the lonely journey
a kindred soul, fortuitous, not left to chance
O, pale moon, set down your heart in another sky!
Mine belongs to another

Dec. 11th

I am really excited about the prospect of catching some good paranormal evidence at my apartment tonight! Amado with Portland Paranormal will be there along with his investigators to check the place out after we have had several experiences that could not be explained.

This is something that I really want to become more than a hobby someday, because I believe in the afterlife - what ever it may be - and I am not afraid of it. In fact I truly want to help people understand that spirits are all around us, and should not be feared, but embraced.

We shall see what happens, and I'll report it here - for all 3 people who read this haha!
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Silk

Its the morning again...
Lying intently
On a bed of roses
Pretences fufilled
Within sheets of black
Red lips swollen
In my arms
A secret love
Away from prying eyes
Inside of the contours of the mind
No explanation needed
Just the union hearts
Edge of a blade cannot satisfy
The yearning for a touch
Like new silk
Against fiery flesh
a supernova
Taken by the chosen
One

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The World on Fire

See, look again into the night sky!
O, the cold dark canvas, pierced by a thousand knives, tiny jewels, like the robe of a goddess
Lust no more, sweet angels of mercy
our hearts are for the taking
we are only lost in the cold, while the world is on fire
Feathery ashes, spread across the lands, across the steeples, across her shining face, pale as the moon, take my hand to brush away all the pain from
Her eyes
At the precipice of Hell I would stand with you, against the nations of the damned, I would follow, even to the ends of time, I would not falter
For now the light does shine through the dark clouds, have no fear, the sun will rise again, like a firefly in the darkest mine, we have found what is most precious
See! The blaze forever burns, inside the body
Keeping me warm on the icy winters' morn.
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Dead Eyes

Drag me down below, fiery hands of hell
Tempt me with cool water,
Drawn from the well of souls
Tempt me, O' sweet Satan
With leavened bread, and
Blood for wine
Lick your lips fellow traveler,
Suck them dry!
Take it all away, the black death
At your servants back door
Take her in the dark of night
Share her with your plastic friends
Tear us apart one more time
In the shadows of the silver moonlight
Drive that wooden stake into his heart
Pound away with your gilded hammer
Through the blood red leaves
She cries, a song of the sirens
Through the blue-green moss
Play us a tune
deity of the forest
Spare me one last time,
Flay the golden fleece
Lay me down
Ride the dawn
Again and again
Till the crimson curtain rises
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Dec. 6th

I'm really liking the way things are going for me. Being in touch with what makes you happy is a good feeling. For me, its the little things that do it: a long walk, a smile, good coffee, writing from the heart, being comfortable alone, and with other people.

Its far from perfect, but the sting of recent events seems to be fading with 2010. It seems as if 2011, and beyond, may actually be worth living for. Being a romantic dreamer doesn't hurt when considering this possibility, but I think that for once in my checkered life, karma may once again be a lover, rather than an a jaded bitch...
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Two

Two minds, two bodies, two souls
swirling, entwined, spinning
not away, closer, desire
becoming one, like colors, vivid
creating new color, so brilliant,
see her through the prism of my mind,
Sunshine in my Eyes, casting precious desires
like a diamond
across time itself, so immortal
the reasons why she
turns my heart ablaze, like fountain of fire
so bright
see it on the golden
edges of time, 
see the two minds,
two bodies
two souls
see two collapse into one
waiting arms, and soft lips
two drifting souls
anchored by fate
waiting for the dawn 

Dec. 4th

I hope today will bring no new drama or bullshit. I just want to have fun with my friends today and see my brotha's bands play...I want my son to have an awesome day with his friends, I want all the people I carer about (whether or not they care about me) to be safe and happy today. I don't think that's too much to ask, and yet the last hour I've developed feelings of dread, like something just not right, like something will happen...its all silly to be sure, but the feelings are real...so I'm asking the universe very nicely - please let my "prayer" be heard and grant me some fucking peace today, ok?

Kthx
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At the End of the Bar

Somewhere along the edges of the dark wood bar
oily, gloriously filthy, greedy
coated by the remnants of
dingy dollar bills
and craven beady eyes
dreams are made, prayers shattered,
tears fell, and love was lost

The wisdom ingrained into the soul of the oak
by the heat of hungry souls and broken hearts
beat on the drum, strum on the heart, sing me a song
O, sweet fate
and while you're about it,
pour me another strong one, lusty barmaid

Make it drown away the feelings,
take it all away, down with the amber waves
to put out the embers below

Seeking cold comfort at the end the bar
an old man, racked with age and regret
never did tread on hallowed ground
never did choose love over himself
never was chosen to follow
the path of the willow

shipwrecked by faith
with eyes like a mirror
doomed to sit at the end of the bar
for fear of falling into something better

Dec. 3rd

There comes a time in ones life when you realize that you're just really starting to grow up. Not that you can't continue to add to your level of experience or wisdom, but that's where I feel I am now.

You never figure everything out (until you're 6 feet under) but that shouldn't stop you from trying. It had been almost 6 months now since I felt truly happy, but now certain things have happened, people I've met ( in particular one person), and friendships that I've tried to build that have led me back to a path of semi-contentment.

Here's hoping that I will find a way to stay on that path, no matter how long it takes, or where it takes me.
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Sunshine in my Eyes

Sunshine in my Eyes, Oh, a divine sight indeed!
not torn away from my gaze, no pretence, not fallow
I'd stare into a thousand stars afire, for one last glimpse!
at once alight, at once burning into my soul, the Sunshine in my Eyes
Whither away, my sweet sunshine? Turn away, turn away, from self-doubt
the valley of the willow shall be our resting place, not into the shadows
far away, a journey neverending to the center of her heart,
glowing deep ablaze with a passion, the Sunshine in my Eyes
No mere shooting star, even beautifully crafted by the hands of Hephaestus
himself could avert my gaze,
for the beauty of my Sunshine overcomes the Gods
Whither away, o, dark clouds? Is it fear that befalls you?
The fear deep down inside resting alongside the bleached bones of
misfortune, not fickle, always taking
The fear resides, no longer below in the great ocean of sorrow, no
instead you have dissipated, flown high into the heavens under the
gentle brilliance of the Sunshine, she who casts the shadows away
like the loaves and fishes, feeding the hungry soul
forever I will take my time, with the Sunshine in my Eyes

Serendipity

Drift along deft stream of time!
Fly away, into the depths of the cool blue ocean
You don't know what I know;
under the dead golden leaves known as life, is something wonderful
Dreamy and fine, her lips pressed against mine, red and swollen with lust, skin on fire
Like a star in heat!
Fall again into my arms sweet honey, dripping from her fingertips, like ambrosia
Words do no justice to the innocent
Into my waiting arms, grasping, longing, too tightly, she may escape, like sand sifting through an hourglass
Soften your glare dark night, for the dawn approaches
With gleaming robes, and ashen skin, she calls to me!
And I, a humble servant, must do comply

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