Jan. 11th

It's hard to believe that this Thursday the 13th would have been my daughter's (Alora Jean Marshall)16th birthday. It's really difficult to think about, and in fact I have been engaging in heavy doses of self-medication in an attempt to overcome those melancholy feelings. I realize that she does not want me to do these things, but for now it is what it is. Since she died almost 4 years ago, every year has become just a little bit easier to live overall, but on these anniversaries it still hasn't gotten that way. One problem that I run into quite frequently is that most people have no idea how it feels to lose a young child (which is a good thing) and whenever I mention something about it, most also have no idea what to say, and I find that I am the one comforting them instead of vice-versa. I will keep on moving, and I will celebrate her birthday, as I have done and always will do - but I am ready for this anniversary to be over with.